The Worst Nine Hours Ever
by siriusblkfan4lif
Summary: My cheap ripoff of the awesome 80's movie: 'The Breakfast Club' starring:rnrn-Snape as Mr. Vernonrn-Draco as Benderrn-Hermione as Clairern-Harry as Brianrn-Luna Lovegood as Allisonrnrn-Notice I have no one for Andrew, the reason being is that I hate Andr


_A/N: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or anything from the movie 'The Breakfast Club.'_

Harry (Voice Over)—reading his detention essay

"_Saturday, February 30th, whatever the hell year it is when I'm in sixth year. Hogwarts Academy, somewhere in a galaxy far far away._

_Dear Professor Snape, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever we did wrong. What we did WAS wrong—but what the hell. We think you're taking the mickey for making us write this essay telling us who we think we are, what do you care? You see us as you want to see us... in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as The Boy Who Lived, Loony Lovegood, an insufferable know-it-all, and blonde-headed little buttmunch. That's the way we saw each other at seven o'clock in the morning. We were all nutters."_

Snape walked into his Potions classroom—which has been rearranged so that there's six tables set up-three by two, and slammed the door shut.

"Well well... I want to congratulate you all for being on time..."

"Uhm, Professor? I think there's been a mistake. I know this is detention, but... I don't think I belong in here."

"And why not, Miss Granger?" Snape spat coldly.

"Because yesterday during Potions you promised me that you'd give me one-one-one private lessons on the study of the human body and that's why I came in here today."

Snape froze. "I never said that."

"I know..." Hermoine sighed, gazing at Snape dreamily.

"Yeah... well... anyways..." Snape continued, giving her a half-glance before turning back to everyone else, "It is now seven-oh-six. You have exactly eight hours and fifty four minutes to think about why you're here. To ponder the error of your ways... and you may not talk. You will not move from these seats. And you..."

Snape turned to look at Draco, who was looking up at the ceiling extremely bored. He went over to Draco's desk and slammed his hands forcefully down on them.

Draco jumped, startled.

"...Will not sleep. All right, we're going to try something a little different today. You are going to write me an essay, of no less than two rolls of parchment, describing to me who you think you are."

Draco looked up. "Is this an exam?"

Snape conjured up parchment for everyone and handed it out.

"And when I say essay, I mean essay... I do not mean the phrase 'I have a penis' repeated a thousand times... is that clear Mr. Malfoy?"

Malfoy looked up, "Yes Professor."

"Very well, maybe you'll even decide whether or not you care to return.

Harry raised his hand. Snape took no notice of this. Harry stood up out of his seat.

"You know, I can answer that right now Professor... that'd be 'no,' no for me because see I have a Quiddich match..."

"Sit down Potter."

"Thank you professor." Harry sat back down.

"My office... is right behind that door." Snape said, pointing it out. "Any wand waving or silly encantations is ill-advised. Any questions?" Snape scanned the room.

"Yeah, I got a question." Draco said, leaning back on his chair with ease, "Do you ever go out in the sun?"

Everyone started to giggle, but no one laughed harder than Luna Lovegood.

"I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Malfoy, next Saturday. Don't mess with the ingredients of a Potion—you'll screw up the mixture."

Snape left the classroom and went into his office, leaving the door open.

"That man... is a greasy git." Malfoy shot. "And what the HELL did that little potion thing just mean?"

"I have no idea." Harry said. He took a quill out from his bag and stuck it in his hair, so the feather was sticking straight up from the top of his head. "Who do I think I am? Who are you? Who are you? I AM A PHOENIX! SQUAWK SQUAWK!" He yelled, flapping his arms like a freak.

Draco shot him an ice cold glare.

"Ha HA! '_Do you ever go out in the sun_? '" Luna shouted, laughing madly.


End file.
